Writing my first book

Hello all! I thought I would talk a little bit about why I wrote my first book. It started out small, my therapist wanted me to get how I was feeling inside with all of the abuse that happened in my life. She wanted me to write a journal. At first it was difficult because I had a lot of anger and hurt. As I started to write I began to write little poems here and there. I was told by my father that poetry was dumb and I would never go anywhere with it. I had already written two small books of poetry, but because I believed him ,I burned them in the barbecue pit, and never wrote again. I think I was around 11 or 12 years old. It wasn't hard to write about how I felt ,I just had to remember that it wasn't about my father anymore and I didn't have to listen to him anymore. I began writing about my fears, my suicidal thoughts, how I felt about myself internally and sometimes how I look forward to hurting myself again. I knew that writing was sending me in the right

direction, because those thoughts, those intrusive thoughts ,started to dwindle. I also started to think about how much I loved my children and my husband and how much it would hurt them if I did things like that. So writing has been very therapeutic for me. It was a step in the right direction and it definitely helped in many ways to save my life. Of course it wasn't the only thing that helped to save my life but it helped. The reason why I wrote this book was to let the secret out. My father always told us that it was a secret about him hurting us and that we weren't allowed to tell anybody. And now I have the opportunity as a grown woman to break that secret and to tell everyone. He broke my brother, and it was a heartbreaking thing to watch. And my father sent me down a very awful road full of sadness and guilt and no self worth. Things that no child should ever feel or experience. Writing this book was a very emotional experience too. At times it shook me to my core. But at the end of the day it has definitely liberated me in so many ways.Ways that I'll always be greatful for. ❤️🖊️📖